Guuuurllll…

I have been traveling quite a bit for work this year, and I’m coming to the conclusion that, while a change of scenery is nice from time to time, maybe work travel isn’t all that exciting.

For example – I’m in San Diego this week. Alllll week. And while the city is pretty, the weather has held out, and I love the Gaslamp Quarter, by the time I’m done with work for the day, I’m not exactly stoked to go do anything else. So, I come back to my room and GrubHub something from Tocaya Organica or maybe Nektar, and listen to something motivational before falling asleep. Hardly jet setting, at this rate.

Guuurllll, when did I get so old and LAME?!?!

PS The rate of homelessness seems to be increasing across the country, no matter where I am. The fact that nobody is talking about this should be awfully concerning.

No title.

So. Many, even most, of the schools in Colorado are closed today, shut down because a young woman from Florida has posed herself to be a “credible threat” to school kids here. Apparently she’s infatuated with the Columbine shootings that happened 20 years ago on April 20.

While I’m glad the authorities are taking precautions to save children, I’m a bit curious about why it is that if a woman says all kinds of pro-death things and gets a shotgun, she’s a credible enough threat that they will close all the schools, but if a white male says all kinds of pro-death things and posts pictures of himself with assault rifles, he’s a troubled youth who needs help and nobody does anything except arrest him or clean up his suicide after he’s made a huge mess of a whole lot of people’s lives. Then we look back at all his social media and, “WOW! It’s like, so obvious this guy was a monster.” It’s just…odd.

I mean, are we just so into preserving their privilege that we will keep silencing the fact that the vast majority of mass shooters are, in fact, white men/boys? So to protect the notion that some of these guys aren’t radically more dangerous than any other American subset, we shout VERY loudly whenever it’s anyone who falls outside of that specific race/gender?

Anyway, I guess it just strikes me as wildly interesting that we take precautions the ONE time some wretched girl flies to Colorado from Florida and buys a shotgun, but we turn a blind eye to the “troubled” guys who jabber excitedly about killing people, who post about their obsession with that, and who proudly pose with numerous assault rifles they either own or have access to. Maybe if we took all of it seriously, we wouldn’t have so many dead kids to mourn.

PS – I doubt I have a large following of potential murderers, but if any of you are out there, tell me, what exactly gives you the right to decide that ANYONE else is done living? Who, exactly, do you think you are, besides some pissant who nobody likes and maybe that means you should work on YOU, because killing people surely isn’t going to increase your popularity.

Meat is meat.

I always really enjoy the talks I have with meat-eaters who are adamant that cats and dogs are pets, not food, when there are cultures around the world who would disagree. I point out that the only difference between eating this critter or eating that critter is cultural indoctrination.

Then, I get to watch them get all flustered and tell me that I’m wrong and how ridiculous I’m being and that EVERYONE knows you’re supposed to eat cows, pigs, chickens, and fish and I tell them that sure, in America, that’s about the limit. But in some countries, they eat horse. Oooooh so much fun to poke the bear I like to call Logic. To any rational mind, meat is meat.

Well, then they’re mad at me for pointing out the holes in their theory about how God put animals on this earth so people could have bacon and I ask them what kind of shitty God would create living beings on purpose who feel pain and fear, only to have them killed en masse to feed to a bunch of equally shitty humans who don’t see the fault in their reasonings?

And then Boom. The friendship is over and I find myself with even more free time on my hands…

Freedom FROM Your Religion

So. I avoid Facebook most of the year, with an intermittent, brief day or two where I’ll check in to see what’s going on with the FB world. And, a few days ago, I was reminded yet again why I steer clear of it – because it always, ALWAYS leads me to a place where I am losing sleep and arguing with imaginary people in my head.

A family member of mine posted something that I found a bit offensive. And actually…hurtful. Like, suddenly *I* am just yesterday’s warm tuna sandwich sitting on top of a rotten banana peel because I decided in my late teens that Christianity wasn’t for me. And that was after YEARS of reading, research, and loads of self-doubt.

Anyway, the meme went something like, “The world expects us to respect other religions. The Bible says to put no other god before me.” Adding that to the predominant theme on this person (who I actually really love and admire)…well, it told me a lot about where exactly I sit in their mind. And yeah, it hurt.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

For years now, I’m a practicing Hindu. I certainly do not have all the answers or even a majority of the answers, but I could argue that my religion predates the Bible by at least a thousand years. In fact, a number of modern religions predate Christianity. I could argue that simply because the early practitioners of my religion didn’t amass large armies and kill more indigenous peoples who wouldn’t convert quickly enough doesn’t make your religion more legitimate than mine. A long history of torture and murder in the name of God doesn’t make yours more legitimate than mine. I could argue that the all-too-common practice throughout history of church officials accumulating wealth and not taking care of their poor makes your religion LESS legitimate than mine. I could also argue that the number of folks I see cherry-picking the ideas they like from the Bible and skipping over the rest ALSO makes your religion less legitimate than mine (since we’re talking about the First Commandment specifically in this post, we should take a peek at ALL of the Ten Commandments, knowing that probably a good percentage of you are in big trouble – maybe everyone who throws Bible verses around should do some refresher reading, you know, for safety reasons. It’s a BIG book – there are LOTS of things in there that you could be smote down for or serve time in fiery pits for.) I could point out the hypocrisy of playing fast and loose with your Book and then talking smack about how other religions are sacrilegious nonsense.

But, I’m not going to do that.

What I am going to state here, quite plainly, is that no one is expecting anyone to respect their religion. Not really. I couldn’t care less if anyone else is all, “Ganesh! Right on!” What people want is for their right to practice their religion to be respected. And as for “no other god before me,” who ASKED you to put any other god before you? If you practice your religion and I practice mine, how in the hell is that somehow being misconstrued as YOU now putting another god before your own god? If I commit some sort of sin in your book, how is that even your business in the first place, so long as I’ve hurt no one or broken any laws where I live? Why is it that anything anyone EVER does in this country must be somehow about you or your religion?

This is yet again, another sad, sad tale, of “what is common in America” being generally accepted as “the one true way,” and if the minority of others don’t believe that, the majority who do get their knickers in a knot and start bawling about “inequality” and “freedom of religion.”

Guess what? Freedom of Religion means Freedom Not to Practice YOUR Religion If I Don’t Want To, too.

And I guess if that makes me somehow less-family, less-acceptable, less-whatever, well then, so be it. If burning incense and hoping for world peace and wanting the hungry to be fed is such a crime, well, I’m guilty AF and I don’t give a damn if that pisses anyone off.

SOTU 02/05/2019

Before I start, it seems fair to mention that there aren’t really any stats out there to corroborate the POTUS’ claims that crime from illegals is higher than it’s ever been, or that crime in America is higher than it’s ever been because of illegal immigration. Look it up. And if the government wants to spend a little bit of money on a chain link fence, it seems to me that there is actual evidence that those have proven effective at several points along the southern border. Knock yourselves out. Chain link, in my experience, is inexpensive and relatively easy to put up.

Now, I’m going to state what should be obvious: it’s actually a bit disturbing how the narrative of “traffickers are using our southern border to bring in sex workers and slaves in record numbers,” is regularly spun as a problem with illegal immigrants, instead of more aptly described as an issue with First World morality (or lack thereof). The law of supply and demand says that if there is no demand, the supply dwindles down into non-existence. Wanna know who is footing the bill for sexual slavery? Here is a hint: no one in my tax bracket.

Same thing with immigrants “stealing jobs.” People are pissed at folks who are being mistreated and underpaid because certain American businesses can turn a heftier profit if they don’t have to pay someone minimum wage. My point here is, stop being mad at Supply and start taking it up with Demand. Demand is who has the power to make change.

Let’s see – anyone bragging about how there are more women than ever in the workforce is overlooking the plain and saddening fact that more women than ever HAVE to work because the days of single income families are pretty much over. And saying, “More people have jobs,” when there are companies doing lay-offs nearly every day in the newspapers, says that “more jobs” doesn’t necessarily mean “more jobs that will pay people a living wage.” Details, folks.

The anti-choice ravings are a particular favorite of mine – ranting about the evils of women who “choose” to have a late-term abortion is moronic and dangerous. Women don’t wreck their body with 9 months of pregnancy, only to have a change of heart at the last minute. Late term means a woman has bonded with her unborn child, and is envisioning future Christmases. Prom. College. She’s already picked out names. She’s got a nursery built and an overnight bag packed, complete with a tiny outfit to bring her baby home in. If she is having a late term abortion, know that her heart is broken. Her life is in danger or her baby has been determined to have already died or unlikely to survive much past birth. This isn’t a decision that would be made lightly, so making an impossible decision even more difficult by telling her she’s a killer is just so human of you. Stop making everything on this earth more important than a living, breathing woman’s very existence.

I took exception to a whole lot of last night’s speech, but one more thing that made my head spin was hearing how our government, out of the goodness of their hearts, has agreed to fund $500M over the next 10 years toward cancer research for children. So, $50M/year. That sure seems like a scant amount of money, considering shortly after, the Commander in Chief said that there will be “unending” funds available to beat Russia in a nuclear arms war. I mean, when it comes to Americans living a better life, our government sure seems to get a bit stingy with the cash flow, but if you want war or weapons, suddenly their pockets are SUPER deep. You know, with OUR money. (and I won’t even get into the irony of “pro-lifers” and how war and weapons are anything but pro-life…)

Ugh. This isn’t particularly well thought out. I’m rambling, I know. But it’s early and I needed to brain-dump while I was still good and annoyed. These people are not our LEADERS. They are our REPRESENTATIVES. They’re supposed to work for us, not the other way around.

Dear Lara Trump…

Okay, so this really isn’t a letter to this stupid, stupid, wretched, awful woman. I am quite certain she has far too important things in her busy schedule to bother with blogs – things like blowouts and mani/pedis and interviews where she says things like, “You’re experiencing a little bit of pain right now” but it’s all for the “future of our country” about furloughed workers.

So, this is to everyone who supports these clueless, out of touch monsters – if you have never worked paycheck to paycheck, if you’ve never had your entire means of supporting your family cut off indefinitely while a bunch of man-babies hold your salary and job hostage, and if you are sitting comfortably in your mansion and not worrying about your income AT ALL, then you need to shut the hell up.

Man, I simply cannot wait until the day when “Eat the rich” becomes a thing…

Aaaaaaaaand…let’s try this again…

Did you know that the actual emotion of anger only lasts 90 seconds, if you can sit still with it for that long, acknowledge it without judgement, and then get on with your day? So anything past 90 seconds is all the “stuff” you add to the anger, fueling it like a flame, piling on ideas about HOW angry you are and WHY would someone do what they did and WHAT were they thinking, anyway… All of those thoughts are food for keeping yourself good and mad.

Frankly, it’s dumb.

Anger makes me fat – seriously. Maybe some people can be mad and go for a jog. Me? I turn to cookies (or avocado toast, or whatever). Did I mention it’s dumb?

So, I spent a bunch of time meditating last night and this morning, letting “pissed off” wander in and out of my consciousness, and eventually getting to where I could just deal with “Well, this is what is, I can’t do a daggoned thing about how other people behave, so I am going to get on with living and do the best I can to be the best I can and that’s all the action I need to take.”

I can’t say I’m all “forgive and forget, peace, love, Rah! Rah! Rah!” yet, but at least I’m not a ticking time bomb of fury, shoveling in leftover Christmas treats and waiting for calories to settle on my butt and make me a 300 pound chick on a 5’6″ frame (not to mention writing borderline crazy blog posts and sending all THAT negative juju out into the Universe)

My daughter’s mother-in-law, and my son-in-law’s ex-wife will do whatever they do – I can’t control that. But I can control how I react to it, removing my own judgement from their actions means anger has no fuel to feed it.

And to quote the divine, educated, and utterly fabulous Michelle Obama, “When they go low, we go high.” That’s the only way, if you really think about it.

Happy New Year, folks. I hope the rest of it is filled with love, light, laughter, and peace.

So, about yesterday…

I’ve had a good 24 hours to let some dust ’round here settle and I’m thinking that yesterday’s post was probably about a 2 on the Acting Like an Adult Scale. Yeah, I feel foolish but thoughts, good or bad, are part of my history so I’ll leave them stand where they are and do a bit of an addendum today.

See, when someone goes out of her way to basically burn down my daughter, it pisses me off. And when that same person works as hard as she and a tiny crew of sleazy lying liar-tons have to perjure themselves with the intent of injuring my child, my son-in-law (her OWN son), and 4 of my 5 grandchildren, well, I take exception to that.

How, exactly, does a woman side with her son’s ex-wife of more than 10 years, who has dangled a granddaughter over everyone’s heads instead of worrying about what is good for the child? And all of this in the grand interest of getting even more child support? This lovely little girl wants for NOTHING, but because the old bag is mad that my daughter doesn’t bow and scrape and take orders from her mother in law, for sure it’s reasonable to write them all off. And then to have her husband send threats to my son in law…well, dude. What are you, like 70-something years old? All I can say there is “Grow up.” Asshole.

And when her son calls her out on how nasty she has been, how spiteful and manipulative, how she’s been deliberately unjust and inequitable in her treatment of her own grandbabies, and then throw out there how I should get a “pat on the back,” for just being equally decent to ALL of these littles, well, yeah, that level of snark left me ready to argue it out.

I said nothing when she stole photos I’ve taken of my grandchildren and posted them to her own page as though she took them herself. I said nothing when she went out of her way to make it plain that my granddaughter, her step-grandchild, was a second class citizen, despite me taking every step to ensure her granddaughter, my step-grandchild, felt every bit as much part of my family as the rest of these babies. I spoke with my daughter about ways to help this pathetic excuse for a woman feel more included so she would stop lashing out all the time, but NOOOO. Lashing out is clearly all she understands so I’ll be doing a bit of that now, too.

Do I think she’s a stupid, mean old biddy? You bet your butt I do! Is this ungodly awful soul worth all of this ire and ugliness? Nope. But my kid and her kids are and if you keep trying to back everyone into a corner, at some point, eventually even the lowliest dog will fight back.

Gah. Well, I guess mature and well-thought-out aren’t going to prevail tonight, either.

*sigh*

To My Daughter’s Mother-in-Law

Hey, THANKS for the “pat on the back!” I know it’s super groovy of me to treat the grandbabies all equally – it’s what grammas are supposed to do.

So, while you sit your crusty, OLD, manipulative, OLD, back-stabbing, OLD butt at home, inventing new and creative ways to ruin your son’s and my daughter’s lives and reputations under the false guise of “taking care of” the only grandchild you actually care about, know that I am here with all of them, loving them, spoiling them, teaching them cool stuff I know so they will know it too…

It’s what grammas are supposed to do. I guess you’re just far too tired, at your age, to manage kindness toward more than one.

Enjoy being old, because that’s all you seem to have going for you.

Mansplaining

As a woman in this country, I have lived a life accustomed to adding caveats to pretty much everything I say or write, such as “You could try,” or “This worked well for me,” or even, “If you feel like,” simply because it’s so easy for some random guy to come along and ever-so-sweetly tell me I’m wrong because XYZ-thing is easier or better or wiser or didn’t work for him at all.

*sigh*

The thing about all those caveats, though, is that they are meant to cover pretty much every person’s every contingency, so that nothing comes across as too pushy or too knowledgeable or too whatever, you know, because I am a female and everyone knows how stupid those can be. And yet, without fail, there is always, always some well-meaning asshat (nearly always a complete stranger) who can’t wait to patiently mansplain to me, past all my, “If you want to” and, “This is one way to do it” qualifiers, a better/smarter/simpler/whatever-er way to do things because he’s a man and of course he knows more than me about whatever it is I’m talking about. This is across the board, no matter what the topic may be (including, believe it or not, any number of things about female “stuff” that they simply have no way  of knowing more about than I do).

I’m not saying these guys don’t know anything, but when I’ve made it clear that I am in NO WAY presenting myself as an expert on a topic and that XYZ-way is the way I did something or how someone I know did something, a complete stranger’s unsolicited advice about how I should be doing something or how something is easier/cheaper/cooler is just plain bad manners.

So, here is some womansplaining: If a woman is talking, it is perfectly alright to just listen and nod if you haven’t been invited into the conversation. Heck, you could even get crazy and ignore the whole conversation and pretend it doesn’t pertain to you. It’s actually considered polite to not interject, unasked, especially if the woman/women speaking are strangers to you. Even if you are DYING to wow the crowd with your PhD in Everything, just shut up. Seriously.